as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
