M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
