i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sobbing to NWA
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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