Just fell off a train. Bad.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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