i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
