I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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