Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
