i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize