I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
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