Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
