DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Girls should come with a carfax report
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
