I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
