Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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