How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
