Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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