what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize