She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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