Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
