I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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