i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
