somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
