fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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