She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
