***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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