flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize