I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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