he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
