sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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