At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
