I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
