There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
