Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
