So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
