Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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