I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
