How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
