it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
