Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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