Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
