soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
