she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
