I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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