Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
