I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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