I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
