My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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