i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
