Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
