Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she woke up with a sticky ear
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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