I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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