I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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