I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
