You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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