When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Enjoy the penises
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
