We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
