Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
