I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
