Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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