one two three fourrrrnication!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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