I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
