Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
everyone is single if you try hard enough
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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