Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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