You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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