her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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