Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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