Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My cat gives me a boner
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
