Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
