I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
